


Fear of Mediocrity

by NotSoHotsuin



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Fluff, M/M, NSFW, No Spoilers, Premature Ejaculation, hibiki showers daichi with compliments, i namedropped a septentrione but that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 04:23:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11283675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoHotsuin/pseuds/NotSoHotsuin
Summary: If there was anything Daichi feared more than death it was the thought of becoming utterly useless.





	Fear of Mediocrity

Everyone had their fears. Daichi just had a few more. While some people feared a physical death, Daichi feared something along the line of an ethereal death. Dying was not exactly favorable, but he sometimes felt he would rather be physically ill than be a failure or a disappointment. Pain was something he understood perfectly. Physical pain was easy to handle. You could always find the source and get an estimate of when it would stop hurting, and when it hurt, you knew exactly why you were suffering. Intangible pain was not as easy to come to terms with. Why was it hurting? No one but you had the answer to that question, and most of the time, you did not know the answer. It was torture. There was this lovely thing called long term memory, and that part of Daichi’s brain would often store certain information and decide to pull it up at the worst of times- mentally berating his persona for things he had done in the past, even things he had not yet done but only thought about doing. The definition that fit best for his torment was self-imposed thoughtcrime- policing himself to avoid certain topics.    
  
Insults. Snide comments. Fights. He recalled almost everything. Each memory chucked away at his self esteem and replaced it with a feeling of mediocrity. It felt as if he would never amount to much because of the way he worked as a person. He found himself lost in thought all the time. It was becoming so much of a problem that the teachers in his school were getting annoyed with him. Daichi wanted to listen, he really tried his best. The problem was that he could be staring straight at the teacher and still manage to tune them out. There was no way to fix this, no way that he was aware of. It was not as if he noticed whenever he trailed off. The thoughts his mind shuffled through were almost never positive, and there was no sure way to know what triggered them.   
  
In fact, the only positive force in his life was the reason he was in a prestigious school to begin with. His motivator for doing better was also his motivator for becoming a better person all-together. All throughout his childhood, he felt safe to have this person to rely on. Why Hibiki remained by his side for so long, Daichi would probably never know. He was not sure he could handle the answer. 

 

Hibiki would not outright insult him or tell him he was being a pain, but that was exactly what made him so terrified. Every person he tried to impress had eventually turned their backs on him, or told him he needed to grow some backbone. He feared asking Hibiki just what he thought about him as a person, whether he was being a good friend or not. The thought of becoming useless to his best friend, the person who had given him so much strength to move on from his past, was a thought more terrifying than any demon they had faced so far.   
  
“You’re very dependable, I always rely on you to back me up when we face a difficult fight,” How he had gotten Hibiki started on this topic was something he could not remember. The earliest memory of him even bringing anything up was a simple remark about how he wished he could contribute more to the group, and Hibiki was set on explaining just how big of an asset he was to their team.   
  
“I wish you could be a little less selfless, because you always end up jeopardizing your own safety for the sake of others,” He couldn’t believe it. It felt so unbelievable to hear something like this be directed at him. If it did not come out of Hibiki’s own mouth, he probably would not have believed it.   
  
“I think the fact you don’t let your fear stop you from taking action very admirable.” Daichi almost wanted to ask him to stop, that it was too much to swallow in such a short while, but he was speechless. Speechless, and thrilled to bits that Hibiki spoke of him so fondly.    
  
“Of course, you’re a great friend too, always providing support when I need it the most. You’ve not turned me down even once as of today, and I don’t think there’s anything you can do to make me give up on you.” Those words meant so much. Hearing Hibiki compliment him it actually calmed his nerves. Being stuck in JP’S HQ while they awaited news on Mizar’s whereabouts was not that bad when Hibiki was in his room to keep him company. They sat next to each other, and had started talking casually just like old times up until the conversation turned into a weird monologue where Hibiki was trying to outline every single good trait about his best friend. He was a little embarrassed, but mostly honored Hibiki held him so close to heart. Hibiki bit his lip to stop himself from grinning.

  
“You’re also very handsome,” Full stop.   
“T-that's not-!” That could not be right. “W-why is that on the list!?” Daichi knew Hibiki said it to get a reaction out of him, and he did not want to play into his teasing, but the reply came out so instantaneously that he had no control over it.   
“Because I’ve been looking at you for maybe a whole five minutes and it’s impossible not to mention it.” It did not feel right to get a rush out of this.   
“Well, that’s a nice ego boost haha, my best friend thinks I’m hot,” Hibiki leaned close and nuzzled Daichi’s neck. Daichi tensed up and tried to tell himself this was fine, that Hibiki was just leaning his head against his shoulder for support.

  
“Very hot~” Hot. Like Hibiki’s breath on his neck.

“O-okay, let’s stop now...”

“Why?” Daichi turned his back against Hibiki and pulled up his phone to keep his mind distracted. Cathedral Of Shadows, a platform he usually despised for all the trouble it got them into, but was a decent enough app to keep himself occupied with while he pretended to ignore Hibiki. There was a pout on his face as he tapped away at his phone, his mind continued replaying the words ‘very hot’ in his head over and over again.

“Hibiki, you’re saying this to make fun, and it’s not funny at all.” Hibiki wrapped his arms around Daichi from behind and pulled him back into his embrace.    
“I’m serious.” Daichi leaned his head back against Hibiki’s chest to look up at him with an apathetic stare.   
  
“Yeah, that’s not hard to believe.” He tensed up a little when Hibiki moved one hand up to cup his cheek. Hibiki ran his fingers over Daichi’s face, slowly outlining his jaw and cheekbones with careful precision, and Daichi was trying his hardest not to take it to heart.   
“Is there anything I can do to make you believe me?” It was surprising to hear Hibiki sound so earnest, especially when he thought that the comments from before had only been part of their usual teasing banter. Daichi was so lost that he had no idea how to respond. His voice wavered a bit, and he averted his eyes to stare off to the side, trying to focus on the bland wallpaper of the JP’S facility rooms. Now that he stared at the walls for longer than a few seconds, that wallpaper sure was ugly and faded. At least their beds were comfortable.   
  
“Seriously? Um…” He would have continued talking had Hibiki’s other hand not come up to rest at his cheek as well, pulling his gaze back up to lock eyes.   
“Would it be alright if I kissed you?” Yeah, that would do. Wait. What? Seeing Daichi glare at him was not exactly the response he was expecting. The monotone apathy in his voice was painfully exaggerated to prove a point.    
“Funny. Very. Very. Funny. Look how hard I’m laughing. You’re hilarious,” He sighed and fixed his eyes on his phone again in a foolish attempt to change the topic. “-stop joking. I’m not in the mood.” He hoped to get the message across better by being serious.   
  
“Daichi,” He felt Hibiki’s hands take a more solid grip on him, pulling his gaze away from his phone to look him straight in the eyes. “-would it be alright if I kissed you?” Hibiki hoped a second attempt would leave more of an impact. It managed to do something. Daichi was not frowning at him anymore, instead he ended up laughing, but he was seemingly more nervous than before. Perhaps the truth was finally starting to sink in. Why would Hibiki repeat a bad joke twice if it was not true?   
  
“N-no. You wouldn’t go that far.” Hibiki released Daichi’s cheeks from his grip to put his arms back around his waist. He rested his head on Daichi’s and pressed his cheek against his scalp.   
“You still haven’t answered my question.” Daichi set his phone aside and before he knew it, he was asking himself why the room felt hotter and why he was trying his best to calm his racing heart. He swallowed hard, throat dry and voice weak with confusion.    
“H-Hibiki…you wouldn’t...” Hibiki only pulled him closer to his chest, and Daichi was struggling to find some balance in this embrace.    
“I would.” Daichi ended up bringing his hands over Hibiki’s to try and push himself up so they were at the same height, but pouted when he felt Hibiki’s cheek press against his skull. Something told him he was not going to get out of this until he answered his question. Surprisingly, that was not something he was too disappointed about.   
  
“N-no, that can’t be. It doesn’t make sense. I’m...” He yelped when he felt Hibiki pull him up and spin him around to wrap his arms around his neck. If Hibiki was trying to convince him he was being serious, he was doing a real good job of it. With Hibiki’s arms around him, and his phone off to the side, it was impossible not to stare directly at him.   
“Don’t you believe me?” He closed his eyes, feeling nervous and slightly frightened by how close their faces were to one another.   
“I-I believe you!” Daichi sat in Hibiki’s lap, and only felt his legs tremble when Hibiki moved his knee between his to adjust their position. Not that it was going to help much, nothing about this conversation or seating arrangement was comfortable. Daichi was holding his hands up to his chest as if to push Hibiki away if he got too close. He could let his hands rest on Hibiki’s shoulders, but he was too tense to lay a finger on him. Too tense to think, and too tense to act.   
  
“Daichi, that doesn’t sound convincing.”    
“Nothing I say sounds convincing! Have you heard my voice!?” Hibiki had. If Daichi was not making a fuss about his compliments, he would compliment his voice. While Daichi’s voice was not smooth or suave, it was endearing and unique in its own way. Hibiki placed his hands over Daichi’s and gave him a reassuring squeeze before kissing his fingertips softly.   
  
“You don’t have to worry. I won’t do anything to you.”   
“Y-you’re serious… I can’t… believe it.” Hibiki caressed Daichi’s cheek with one hand and took notice to how Daichi was keeping his eyes fixed to the side, staring down at the phone that was out of reach. He had a look of disbelief on his face, one that felt mixed with both fear, eagerness and exhaustion. Daichi closed his eyes again when he felt Hibiki run his thumb along his cheekbones. It sent a small shiver down his spine, and he was not sure if this was a positive or a negative thing just yet. He was trying hard not to correlate Hibiki’s compliments with his intimate touches, but something told him the two were impossible to separate. It was still hard to believe Hibiki wanted to kiss him, but that fact was impossible to deny any further.   
  
“Hibiki, I’m not sure I can…” His voice sounded so defeated. He did not want to turn Hibiki down, that much he was aware of, but it did not feel right to just go for it without warning.    
“That’s fine. If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.”   
“It’d be easier if you eased me into it rather than ask bluntly.” There was a slight pause, one Daichi was not aware would take place after he expressed himself so freely. It took him a second or two to also realize he had just given Hibiki a free pass to touch him as long as he practiced some discretion. He opened his eyes to meet Hibiki’s gaze.   
  
“Ease you into it?”    
“You know. Um… hold hands, touch a bit, kiss my cheek first maybe-” He had no idea why he was rambling on about this of all things. Now that he considered it, feeling Hibiki touch him was not unusual, and it was a feeling he could easily take pleasure in. He had always chucked those moments aside as friendly gestures, but if he entertained the idea, maybe he could derive some deeper pleasure from it.   
“Will you let me touch you?”   
“...Oh God, when you ask it like that, it sounds like I was being perverse,” Hibiki smiled and leaned his forehead against Daichi’s with closed eyes.   
“Daichi, can I touch you?” That he even had to ask again convinced Daichi he was just repeating himself to hear him outright tell him to do it. It felt as if Hibiki was taking pleasure in this exchange. He was not that far off the mark. It did sound as if Daichi was requesting to be touched, in a sense. Daichi finally let his hands rest on Hibiki’s shoulders, making themselves comfortable around the familiar fabric.   
“You already have your hands all over me. You… might as well just go for it,” That was all he needed to say, and all Hibiki needed to hear to place a soft kiss against Daichi’s cheek. Hibiki ran his hands down Daichi’s chest, gently pushing his jacket aside to let his hands press against his black shirt. His fingers were curiously seeking out the buttons to try and slip into the cracks and rub against bare skin. Daichi moved his hand to the back of Hibiki’s neck in attempt to keep himself balanced as Hibiki began trailing kisses down his neck. His breath hitched, and he felt his legs grow weak. 

 

“Y-you’re… really not joking…” He could feel Hibiki’s lips ghost over his skin, sending another electric shiver down his body and into his gut.   
“I told you to believe me,”   
“Mn… don’t talk so close to my neck,”    
“Why?”   
“It’s making me feel weird,” He let out a shaky breath when Hibiki pressed his lips against his neck and wrapped both arms around him. He arched his back and cocked his head slightly to give Hibiki more skin to bite into. Each kiss sent a jolt through his body, and he was not sure how to interpret it other than as a rush of pleasure. He moved his palm over his mouth to keep himself quiet, but his grip was so weak that he ended up breathing through the gaps between his fingers.

  
“Still don’t believe me?” Daichi let out a high pitched cry when Hibiki sucked on the skin around his neck, and licked the fresh bruise with his tongue apologetically after marking him. Daichi could feel all the heat rush to his cheeks in one fell swoop, and he was suddenly a lot less worried over whether or not Hibiki actually considered him hot. That fact was proven right now, if not sooner.   
“Ah, I believe you, it’s fine, I believe you-!”   
“I’m still not convinced,”    
“I-I promise! This time, I really do believe y- nngh,” He breathed out when he felt Hibiki’s hands squeeze his hips tightly. His throat felt dry, and his voice was already sounding a lot more hoarse than usual.   
“A-ah, Hibiki…”   
“I really like you a lot, Daichi,” Daichi had not really expected him to follow through. A part of him still doubted it was real. He moved his palm up to his cheek to try and rub away the blush that spread across his face.   
  
“T-that can’t… be true,”   
“You still don’t believe me? You really haven’t learned your lesson,”   
“But I’m not your ty- ah!” He felt Hibiki laugh against his skin when his fingers came down to stroke his inner thigh softly. He would have screamed at him to stop had it not felt so good to see him react like this to his disbelief. It was almost as if it was laughable for Hibiki to hear him protest, to hear him still deny the chemistry between the two of them. While Daichi wanted his claims to be taken seriously, he was happy that Hibiki was playing it off as if his worries were nothing to be concerned about, that he could trust him fully.    
“Mn...H-Hibiki!...I wa-” When Hibiki let his hands creep underneath Daichi’s shirt to stroke his bare stomach, he considered allowing Hibiki just to take everything he wanted, force or not.   
“You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted, Daichi,” He hoped that was true. The way Hibiki was saying it was making him feel lightheaded and weak. Even if he did want to push Hibiki off himself, there was no way he could have the strength after hearing something like this.    
“H-Hibiki, I-...!”   
“For the last time, Daichi,” He grabbed Daichi’s hips and pushed him down against the mattress to press his lips against his neck more fiercely. “-I’ll make you believe me, no matter how long it t-”   
“I want you to kiss me!” Flushed, and out of breath, Daichi swallowed what was left of his denial and looked up at Hibiki with nothing but honesty in his eyes. He had not thought about how loudly he shouted, or about how thin the walls were at JP’S. His voice cut Hibiki off, and created a silence he was not sure how to fill.   
  
“T-that’s...” The dark shade of his cheeks only seemed to get darker. “T-that’s what I wanted to say… You kept interrupting me, so...” He was beginning to think he had asked too much, but felt reassured when Hibiki pressed his lips against his, soft, warm, and caring. Daichi wrapped his arms around Hibiki’s neck and parted his lips, embracing him in every way he possibly could. The euphoria granted by every kiss, by every touch of their bodies was making his mind dizzy. He almost forgot the world could be a pleasant place, that Demons were not everything that existed, and that not every minute had to be a struggle for survival. Daichi felt as if his throat was on fire by how rough he was breathing, and Hibiki was only enhancing the burning sensation by pressing his lips against his neck.   
  
“I have to say, I like assertive Daichi a lot,” Again with the breathing so close to his skin. It only made Daichi feel hotter.   
“A-ah, g-good for you because he likes you too…”   
“I think assertive Daichi is rather sexy,” Hibiki rubbed his body up against Daichi, feeling a rush of pleasure at the high pitched noise that escaped Daichi’s throat as a result. Hibiki made sure to memorize the sight beneath him, the feeling of Daichi’s arms trembling around him, and the sensation of his hot breath against his neck.   
“H-Hibiki, you’re going to kill me,”   
“Can I keep assertive Daichi at least?” Hibiki nibbled on Daichi’s ear lightly as he replied, and that was the moment Daichi realized that breathing and whispering right into his ear was a sure way to make him even more excited. He leaned his head back, eyes closed and face flushed, trying to force more air into his lungs.   
“Y-you’re so stupid… Why did I let you...ah…” Hibiki let his hand return to stroking Daichi’s inner thigh again, fingers softly sinking into toned legs. Daichi did not know whether to inhale, exhale, or to tell Hibiki not to touch him there. He ended up trying to do all three at the same time, and only choked when he felt Hibiki’s knee press up against his crotch. He shivered and restrained himself from pressing their bodies together for more. He tried to tell Hibiki to take it slower, to not rush in.   
  
“N-no! Don’t-!” When Hibiki pressed his knee up against Daichi’s crotch again, he felt a rush of pleasure coarse through his entire body, leaving him breathless and loud. He relaxed, feeling some of the pressure finally ease up around his stomach. Quick, shallow breaths became more drawn out and deep as time went on, and he was no longer feeling the same burning sensation from each and every stroke of Hibiki’s hands as intently as he did before. When the realization of what happened hit him, he looked frightened and pulled both his hands down his face. He peeked through the opening in his fingers to look up at Hibiki, but once their eyes met, he looked off to the side with shame.   
  
“S-sorry, I…” It took a while for Hibiki to notice.   
“Oh,” Daichi whined and grabbed the nearest pillow to slam it against Hibiki’s head.   
“Your fault! I told you to stop! God, you’re so- ugh! You have to show off, don’t you?” He was reduced to nothing but incoherent noises at this point. They both lost control over themselves so easily once they got started, and things just escalated to a point of no return. While it was a rare sight to see Hibiki act a little embarrassed, it was not as if Daichi was feeling good about himself for not being able to hold back his orgasm.   
“Well… on the bright side, I don’t need to change the bed sheets,” That reply only got him another hit across the face with the pillow.   
  
“I told you to kiss me! Not to make me… God, I feel like such a disappointment. I can never show my face in public again.” Hibiki leaned down to kiss Daichi’s hands. He would have kissed his cheek had Daichi not made an effort to hide.   
“The public’s loss.” Daichi furrowed his brows, and tried to glare at Hibiki. The impact was softened by the fact half his face was covered up.   
“Stop. I don’t want to hear it.” After the shame had settled, he sighed and slowly removed his hands from his face to look up at Hibiki. The expression Daichi wore felt so vulnerable, so filled with regret and guilt. It was hard to take pleasure in the fact he just made Daichi come with his touches when he looked about ready to take it all back. When Hibiki did not speak up, Daichi looked off to the side, his chest rising and falling slowly to his more paced breathing. He moved his hand over his face to push his bangs out of his eyes and up over his forehead.   
  
“Hibiki, if I…” His words got caught in his throat, but he pushed past his paranoia and spoke up clearer. “-if I tell you I’d like to do this again, would you… maybe…” Hibiki cupped his cheek and placed a soft kiss against his lips. Daichi smiled and brought his hand up to cup Hibiki’s cheek in return.   
“I’m going to need a verbal response, Hibiki,” When he only got a kiss on the lips, he repeated his question. That question was followed up by yet another kiss, and another.

 

It was a miracle nobody heard them, because the volume of Daichi’s voice only had one setting.

 

Loud.


End file.
